


Punctuated Equilibrium

by storiesfortravellers



Category: X-Men: First Class (2011) - Fandom
Genre: Arguing, Crack, Evolution, Humor, M/M, Science
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-12-01
Updated: 2013-12-01
Packaged: 2018-01-03 05:13:43
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 622
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1066171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/storiesfortravellers/pseuds/storiesfortravellers
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A treat for keire_ke for the prompt:<br/>"Charles can cope with Erik being a serial killer, a mutant supremacist and an inconsiderate jerkass, but when he finds out Erik is a creationist, the shit really hits the fan."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Punctuated Equilibrium

**Author's Note:**

  * For [keire_ke](https://archiveofourown.org/users/keire_ke/gifts).



> Erik's arguments are not depicted as very knowledgeable, and Charles is portrayed as very frustrated with him; if any of this offends you, please don't read.

“What do you mean you don’t _believe_ in evolution?” Charles said.

Erik shrugged. “It just doesn’t make sense.”

“What doesn’t make sense?”

“Charles, please, you know what I feel.”

“I most certainly do not.”

Erik crossed his arms. “Okay, I just don’t think it’s possible that mutants ‘evolved’ from humans. We’re totally different species.”

A vein started to bulge in Charles’ forehead. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“I look at humans and see a bunch of cattle. A bunch of apes. Are you going to tell me that mutants with amazing abilities just popped out from a bunch of apes?” Erik said with confidence.

Charles gripped the arm of his chair as tightly as he could and tried to keep calm. “An ape is just a primate without a tail.”

Erik smiled as if Charles had proved him right. “And we’re obviously not mere primates.”

Charles closed his eyes and clenched his jaw. “Erik. You were born from human parents. Your powers come from the evolutionary process.”

“I don’t believe that. My ancestors must have all had recessive mutant powers.”

“You know perfectly well that is not how it works. And how do you believe in genetics but not evolution?”

“What does one thing have to do with the other?” Erik asked. “Besides, I believe that mutants were created to defeat and replace humans.” 

“Yes, I am well aware of your homicidal sociopathy. That hardly excuses your scientific ignorance,” Charles gritted out.

Erik asked, “Am I supposed to believe that something as complex as a peacock’s feathers or a squirrel’s tail or mutant’s telepathy for that matter just randomly _appeared_? Things don’t work that way.”

“Yes! Yes, they do work that way!” Charles spat. “Mutations occur at random, and some are selected for, and over time that causes different species to adapt to their environment in different ways!”

“No, I don’t believe that things can just _change_ like that,” Erik said, shaking his head with certainty.

“Yes, they can. With MUTATIONS. Which is where we get the word MUTANT. So if you want to be the leader of the mutant armies against humanity – which by the way you really shouldn’t – you at least have to acknowledge the existence of MUTATIONS!!!”

Erik shrugged. “I’m not convinced.”

“What do you mean you’re not convinced.”

Erik looked at him. “You know, evolution’s not a fact. It’s just a _theory_.”

Charles turned red. “That is NOT what ‘theory’ means in scientific discourse. All science is ‘just’ a theory.”

“So you admit that evolution is just a theory?”

“You know what? Forget it.” Charles placed his fingers on the side of his head. “I’m forcibly inserting basic scientific knowledge into your head.”

“You can’t do that! You promised you wouldn’t use your powers against me if we got together!”

“I promised not to use them to make you abandon your quest for world domination. This is totally different!”

“Emma!!! Emma, heeeellllp!!!” Erik yelled, and soon Charles’ efforts were blocked from afar.

Erik smirked. “I guess we’ll have to continue our debate another time. I do love arguing with you.”

“This is not an argument. This is a scientist explaining the existence of mutations to a mutant,” Charles grumbled as he slouched into his chair.

Erik leaned in for a kiss good-bye, but Charles turned away.

“Really?” Erik frowned. “You didn’t act like this when I started a war.”

“Your terrible arguments for war were still more reasonable than this,” Charles pouted.

Erik sighed. “Fine. I’ll see you in Paris.”

Charles looked up in alarm. “What are you planning in Paris?”

Erik smirked. “Wouldn’t you like to know?” he said, and quickly left.

Charles just stewed, wondering how he acquired such terrible taste in men.


End file.
